Things that make you go "Hmmm"

* If money is the root of all evil, why do churches beg for it?
* Doesn't a lightning rod atop a church show a lack of faith?
* Why do we say, "heads up" when we want someone to duck for cover?
* What was Captain Hook's name before he lost his hand and had to get a hook?
* I saw an ad the other day for caskets (coffins), it said, "Lifetime Guarantee". Huh?
* When French people cuss, do they say, "Pardon my English"?
* Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
* Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat "Macaroni"? For that matter, why did he name the feather in the first place?
* Who was the first person to see a cow, and say, "I think I'll squeeze those dangly thingies under there, and drink what comes out."?
* Who was the first person to say, "Do you see that chicken over there? I think I'll eat the first big thing to come out of it's butt."?
* Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking place if you are not handicapped, but it's OK to use a handicapped toilet?
* Why is it that "Chopsticks", is the easiest song to play on the piano, but the hardest utensil to eat with?
* Why can't you get a tan on the palms of your hands?
* If you were in space, and had a compass, which way would it point?
* Did Noah have woodpeckers on the arc? And if he did, why didn't he eventually sink?

And last but not least for today...

* If your name is David Crunch, and you joined the military, and you went up in ranks, how do the other people not laugh when they have to address you as Captain Crunch? And would you have to pay royalty rights or would they?

HT to “It’s a Wild Life, and Unfortunately Its Ours!”