In the Arminian Garden

Tired of being without a floral motif vis-a-vis the Calvinists, the Arminians have just completed a summit in Possum Waller, Arkansas to select an appropriate symbol. Chairman Dave Hunt ruled that the Daisy faction had won over the Jack-in-a-Pulpit partisans late this afternoon in the second round of voting. The proposed acrostic looks as follows:

D- Diminished Depravity
A- Abrogated Election
I- Impersonal Atonement
S- Sedentary Grace
Y- Yieldable Justification

Pastor Eli Coots of the Backwoods Bible Institute made the announcement, "Gone are the days of acronmyical imbalance. Now we too have an easy to remember acrostic that all may freely use to oversimplify and misunderstand our system of belief! Let holy-rollers, faith healers, fundamentalists, Left Behind groupies and KJV Onlies of all stripes unite in celebrating this blessed event!" He later added that the acronym came with a bonus--the poetic symmetry between the uncertainty of one's own salvation that Arminians enjoy each day, and the petal-plucking ritual of the daisy--"he loves me, he loves me not..."

Thanks to Le Sabot Post-Moderne for this funny, yet somehow insightful post.